Today is the 9th anniversary of the day I lost my penis-in-vagina virginity (gotta be specific with my kind of sex life!). And yeah, every year me & my V-card partner call each other to celebrate and catch up. We’re still good friends. Our friendship has had some awkward points over the years – mostly because of insecure exes – but that’s why they’re exes!

It was a complete spur of the moment decision. In school that day a girl I eventually ended up sleeping with had been teasing me all through debate class by rubbing her hands up and down the corduroy pants I was wearing. She had gotten me so turned on that I called my ex/make out buddy to come over and get me off before ballet class.

We started making out on the living room floor. And while we were fooling around we were laughing at ourselves for having a booty call even though we were both virgins. Somewhere in the midst of that I was like “hey, you wanna do it?” and he was like “YEAH!!” So we went to my bedroom and I turned on Frank Sinatra (I’m a classy broad) and after much giggling we got down to the sexin. I won’t share the details, because that’s between me and him. But it was a lovely and happy experience. I’m so glad we shared that with each other. And so happy about all the places my sex life has gone since then. Especially that part about sleeping with that original pussy tease later on.

Now that I’ve shared all that with you – time for you to share with me!

I want to have an extra special celebration this year. Because in the past 9 years my sex life has been supremely awesome. And I want to celebrate my sexual awesomeness. The traditional gift for 9th anniversaries is pottery… but I’m not really a clay girl. But if you really want to help me celebrate traditionally feel free to get me a Crate & Barrel gift card!


31M3k15DtLL._SY450_61OOXhB01cL._SY450_But I usually have a little fancier taste than that. Check out my wish list of all naughty things!

Here’s some specific ideas if you can’t decide what to get me!

You could get me flowers, like to put in a vase, except these kind of flowers are even better than live ones.

Or a 9 inch dildo for 9 years. Mmmmm.

Or… you could always celebrate by buying 9 clips from me. Or 99! Here are some particularly sexy ones that celebrate ME and SEXUALITY!

Buy Now Upskirt WITHOUT Panties!
Buy Now Masturbating in the shower!
Buy Now Getting Spanked by Sydney Screams!

Happy Sexaversary to Me!!

I mean, we didn’t realllllllly need an excuse to celebrate me and my sex life and all around sexiness… but it’s pretty exciting anyway.

Send all gift cards to:

Posted on: May 5, 2013Lauren Kiley

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